Transformed

13.8 billion years ago, one little amazingly compact ball of matter and energy, transformed, in the glimpse of an eye, into an ever-expanding universe. Just one looong ongoing transformation. Just a couple of years ago, I was on the fast track to becoming a Nanoscience-physicist. Today I am studying theology, trying to find my spiritual footing. What happened? I was transformed!

No, I didn’t meet the baby Jesus. I’ve always been a Christian of some sort. My transformation wasn’t Saul on the road to Damascus, meeting the Jesus he had been pursuing. I just realized, I wasn’t where I wanted to be. I wasn’t going, where I wanted to. I didn’t make anything of my life. I was just caught on a planet, trying to figure it all out.

So what transformed me? God? The holy spirit? Well, something happened. I saw my life, and it wasn’t good. It wasn’t bad either. It was just… that… Monotone really. I didn’t need to go find myself, because I knew myself. I had no need for selfmeditation or contemplation. Because I knew perfectly well who I was. Life just didn’t excite me. Not in a emo-I’m-gonna-cut-myself sorta way. More like a really mundane documentary on the reproduction of frogs in the amazon. You’re not gonna go to turn off the tv, but you aren’t entertained either. You just kill time.

So I dropped out! I got a job, in an amazing NGO, working daily, with all sorts of amazing, interesting, sometimes weird people. And that taught me so much about life, spirituality, the universality of the Truth and so on (But that’s another story). It wasn’t just a fantastic, beautiful process. No, I actually had to reshape my life. Take action on choices, that also meant, sorting away stuff. That meant chiseling away parts of me, that was in excess. Painfully grinding of parts of me, that I no longer had a use for.

The last, many years, has been an exercise in minimalism for me. I’ve been working hard on being the best I can be. Physically, spiritually, and personally. Losing weight, getting fit. Finding my way in theology, spirituality. Learning to be modest, about food, alcohol, life, and myself. I’ve not been finding myself, I’ve just been chiseling away all the excess. Like a sculptor, seeing the statue within the giant rock. All she must do, is chisel away all the excess stone. She doesn’t suddenly find a statue, when she breaks open the rock. The potential has always been there, she must just remove the parts, that don’t fit the statue. And that is the art of it all. But as you can imagine, banging a hammer into your stomach, will hurt. But there’s no easy three step plan. Only the long process of transforming yourself.

 

So may you not need to invent yourself. May you forget about finding yourself, or figuring out who you really are. May you BE you and see that it is the beauty of it. May you chisel away the excess. All that, which doesn’t add to your life, but just to your weight.

PS. But then what if you’re already perfect, and need no further chiseling? I congratulate you, the perfect specimen of mankind, and hope you will live a long and happy life. Venus de Milo also thought herself as perfect, until she saw herself in the mirror, and realized she had no arms.

 

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Being the best at being the best you can be

Apparently, B’s are my thing now…

 

Well, I recently switched gyms! Not exactly breaking news. Nevertheless, there’s a good reason behind this switch.

 

I’ve been doing crossfit for about 2 years now and I’ve lost almost 50 kg in that period. The reason I chose to do crossfit has to do with the attitude that many crossfitters exude. Crossfit isn’t about BEING THE BEST, but it’s about DOING YOUR BEST.

You don’t have to be the strongest or fastest, the biggest or the baddest.

All you have to do, is to it your all and be the best version of yourself. The workouts are always easily scalable, so you can always do them on your level.

This means that the fittest and the fattest in the box, can do a workout side by side, and be equally challenged. They might not lift the same weights, they might not run the same distance, but both of them give their all and do their very best.

 

For the past 1,5 years, I’ve been member of a certain chain of crossfit boxes in Copenhagen This chain wants to be the biggest chain. I’ve been told many times they want to be the best at being biggest. Not necessarily the best box or the best at being best. But they want to be best at being big, whatever the cost may be.

 

And OH, how that has bugged me. One thing is the material stuff. That sometimes the water was cold, the floor dirty and the equipment way too worn down to use properly. All because they need to keep expenses down. That’s ‘just’ the material stuff, we can work around that. It can be super tedious. But it’s something I can work aound.

 

The other, and much larger problem, lies in the mentality. I train, to be the best version of me! To be the best, that I can be. To be fit, lose weight, and get healthy. But the box wants to be biggest. So the whole thing is shrouded in a mentality of ‘that’ll-do’.

Many of the coaches (many, but definitely not all of them) met me with an attitude of ‘that’ll-do’. Not an attitude of ‘How can you be better?’, but just that’s good enough. Let me again point out: some coaches, not all of them. A few of them are amazing, passionate people, that love what they do, and the people they coach.

 

But when the mentality is ‘Hey, that’ll do…’, that affects and disturbs my training. If the coach and the organization rather wants quantity, then why should I deliver quality. Why should I be the best, when I’m met with an attitude of quantity over quality?

 

So, I switched gyms. I found a box that focuses on quality. Both the material: equipment, warm water in the showers, clean floors etc. But also the mental: quality coaches, a receptionist that meets you with a smile and knows who you are.

 

If you want to be the best you can be, then place yourself between likeminded. Because optimism, quality, and caring affects everything and everyone around you. When you deliver your best, you also motivate others to do likewise. That goes for your business, as well as your private life.

 

And one last thing; do not, never ever, beat yourself because you aren’t the greatest in the world at what you do! Bring your A-game, deliver your very best, and do what makes you happy. And you shall go on to do great things.

 

And you know what? You might even make the world, just a little bit better, in your effort to be the best you can be.

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Fresh strawberries in february

We’re still at it! Thanks for following so far. I am amazed and grateful, that you guys want to listen to my random thoughts.

 

I want to say something about seasons. Because season are very important to how we live our lifes. And yet, us, modern humans, have completely forgotten one of the most important lessons, that the seasons teaches us; That sometimes we must WAIT. And more radically, often we must WAIT for something to DIE, before the new can arise.

 

And I think I know where it all went wrong. It happened with fresh strawberries… I know this doesn’t make any sense, but let me explain. Today, we are so amazingly blessed, that we can go into a supermarket, at 2 a.m. in February, and buy fresh strawberries, that were only picked a day earlier on the other side of the planet. We literally do not have to wait for anything. When we order new shoes online, we are willing to pay extra for 1-day-rush delivery, so that we have the shoes the very next day.

We hate waiting! Waiting in line, waiting for our package, waiting for fresh strawberries. We want to have everything available all the time. But that’s not how the seasons work…

 

Now if you didn’t already know this; there are 4 seasons. (I know! Amazing, right?) First of them are winter, where the earth may seem barren and lifeless, but this is where all the creations prepare for the new year. Nutrients assemble around the seeds in the earth and the seeds get ready for the first sign of spring. In spring, the first rays of sunlight start an explosion of momentum. The seedlings shoot up of the ground and the massive trees opens up their leaves. All leading to summer, where all the plants work to create the best new seeds, that can keep the species alive.

And then what happens: Fall! Death… After all this life, all this momentum, the life stops and fades away. But as it fades and dies, the plants let go of their carefully created seeds. In their death, they give life to a new year.

So in a year, we see the earth explode and become a cathedral of life, and then slowly decay and fade away. But all this happens just so, we can survive another year. The death of one year leads to the life of the next!

 

Now you might be thinking: “This rings a bell! Oh, where might I have heard this before?” Probably in church! This is also the grand narrative of the New Testament… (the story of Jesus)

 

But do not be alarmed, this is not the sermon edition. Because this thing with seasons goes much deeper, than ‘just’ that. This is also the grand narrative of all our lives. Ever so often, something must die for something new and better can arise. We must let go of being a child to become a teenager, and we must let go of being a teenager to be an adult. And our ‘one’ must die, to find together with another and become a ‘two’. And the ‘two’ must die, to give place for new life, and become a ‘three’.

 

Every time something must die! I can’t keep being the center of my life, if I want to have a good marriage. And we can’t keep being spontaneous or go to as many concerts late at night, if we want to create a tiny human. We must ever so often die (metaphorically speaking, of course), for something better and more beautiful to arise.

 

And you know what? A couple of hundred years before our time, a king from Jerusalem wrote about this (One called Solomon). He wrote:

“There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.”

 

May we see when our time is. May we see what must die, for new life to arise. And may we learn to wait…

 

That’s my hope!

 

 

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Testament of a Roamer

So why another blog? Well, I like speaking. Especially, when no one interrupts me. I’ve been thinking a lot about how to do so. First of all, I’ve never really gotten this whole blog thing. Who reads ‘em anyways. You, I guess? But I haven’t been a part of this community, until now. Secondly, there are so many ways of communicating today. I could do a podcast, live stream, facebook, Instagram, newsletter or whatever. So why do a blog? I don’t quite know yet. Let’s see if this works!?

I do roam. Well, I don’t wander restlessly around. What it means is, whenever I think I’ve got it all figured out, I usually stumble over a new way to go about it. And with it, a whole new bunch of questions or ideas. And then we’re back to square one… With nothing figured out… I’m never really able to settle down and be happy with what I know. Some annoying part of my inner, just wants to break down all of my nicely stacked mental furniture, so I can start arranging them again.

But I don’t ramble. I do study Christianity. And I want to work with Christianity. But settling in a church, has been hard. I’m happy where I am now. I feel at home, but it’ll never be an ultimate shelter. Nowhere will. I suppose. I’ve been in a lot of different communities and many different denominations. All of them, has been fantastic, great communities. But none of them, yet, has been able to handle, when I’ve started rearranging my mental furniture. When my inner starts roaming.

Churches do have a tendency, not to like questions they can’t answer. Funny, isn’t it?

What will I be writing about? I simply don’t know yet. I have my struggles right now. Political, ethical, theological, spiritual, educational, personal struggles. Whenever I get through those, there will probably arise a handful of new struggles. That’s the beautiful part. No way of knowing, where we’ll end or how we’ll get there. It’ll simply be the Testament of a Roamer.

 

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